Tekken 6 Character Countdown Part 43 EXTRA: Unnamed Male Streetfighter Number 3

Singing Praise for an Unsung Peon of Scenario Campaign mode.

With just little more than two weeks to go to the console releases of Tekken 6, we’ve arrived at one more entry in our long-running weekly series of character-specific articles. This time we take on a challenger who may not be known for his overwhelming power and strength, nor even his exceptional martial skill. Nope, this little-known pawn is simply known for being fearless and determined, willing to butt heads with martial arts masters, super-killer robots and other world-famous fighting icons for just a few bucks and maybe a packet of smokes. He’s… Unnamed Male Streetfighter Number 3.

Unnamed Male Streetfighter Number 3.
Distinguishing Features: None, actually… he’s pretty non-descript, although reasonably ripped and good-looking, in an assembly-line sort of way.

Strengths: He can actually throw a decent punch or kick, and it can hurt. If he’s lucky, Unnamed Fighters 1 and 2 can occupy the target while he kicks them in the shins from behind.

Weaknesses: Once he gets a hit in, doesn’t usually follow-up- perhaps due to his sheer euphoria and amazement that he actually got to hit the target. His endurance is about a quarter of that of any regular Tekken fighter. Has a thing for Unnamed Female Streetfighter Number 4 (nice shoulders).

Affiliation: Doesn’t really care who he’s working for, just as long as they pay in cash.

Background: Unnamed Male Streetfighter Number 3 (let’s call him ‘Joe’ for short) hasn’t had an easy life. He grew up watching the Tekken tournaments and MMA competitions on TV, idolizing icons like Paul Phoenix and Marshall Law. He was one of the dozens who tried to apply for membership and training at famous dojos, but would inevitably, invariably be rejected. ‘Lack of talent’, was often the remark. ‘Has no concept of putting two hits together to form a basic combo.’ Or perhaps the saddest, ‘all it takes is one good hit and he keels over like a sack of potatoes.’

But Joe wouldn’t give up. He couldn’t. There was nowhere else to go. Working at diners and convenience stores was too boring. He couldn’t take the dress code of the Commando Units or stomach taking silly stances like the new Claw Ninja Squad. Fortunately, luck finally smiled as several recruiters for random violent mobs (RVMs) arrived at his favorite Starbuck’s. They offered a nice stable paycheck, a health plan (with dental!) and no need for uniforms whatsoever. Plus, he gets to work with some hot chicks in jeans and tank tops. It was a dream come true.

Character Analysis: So now, among dozens of other nameless rabble, Joe has been given the simple task of beating up anyone who enters their ‘zone’, to the best of their ability. More often than not, Joe and his mates find themselves eating asphalt, getting singed by alcohol-based flames or pelted with the odd non-lethal chain gun round.
Still, he’s enjoying himself immensely, at the end of the day reminiscing how he actually got Nina Williams (she’s supposed to be over 40 but damn, she’s still hot) to single him out with her Blonde Bomb (stings like hell) or how Zafina squeezed his head between her thighs (smells nice).

What lies in the future for Joe? Whether or not Scenario Campaign mode proves popular enough to return in the next King of Iron Fist Tournament, surely there will always be work in some capacity for violent sociopaths like Joe and countless others. Or if not, perhaps he’ll find that little place under heaven to make a snug home with Unnamed Female Streetfighter Number 4 (AKA Brenda) to raise the next generation of fist-and-foot fodder.

Stay tuned next week as our Tekken 6 Character Countdown concludes!

Tekken 6 is set for release on PS3 and Xbox360 this coming October 27.


5 Responses to “Tekken 6 Character Countdown Part 43 EXTRA: Unnamed Male Streetfighter Number 3”

  1. Loooool! Nice one haha!

  2. LMAO!

    Did you do Azazel though?

  3. eggfooyung2go Says:

    haha is Joe’s combo still limited to 1 hit on hard? I’ve yet to find out. Where can I find other character countdowns for these goons?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: